


Lame Halloween Party: Avengers Edition

by wickedwiccan



Category: Avengers, Captain America, Deadpool - Fandom, Hawkeye - Fandom, Hulk - Fandom, Ironman, Spider-Man - Fandom, hulkeye - Fandom, spideypool - Fandom, stony - Fandom, superfamily - Fandom
Genre: Costume Party, Fighting, Flirting, Halloween, Hulkeye - Freeform, Im a little mean to Clint too, Im a little mean to Wade, Language, M/M, Name Calling, Peter in a onesie, Spideypool - Freeform, Stony - Freeform, Superfamily, Teasing, funny?, humor?, im sorry, implied sex, innuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 05:28:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7209731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedwiccan/pseuds/wickedwiccan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint and Bruce attend Tony's costume party. Things get pretty rowdy between a certain pair...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lame Halloween Party: Avengers Edition

**Author's Note:**

> Hulkeye meets Spideypool meets Stony in this really lame, just get this off my chest, fic.

Bruce shook his head, “Am I supposed to be scare now?”  
“I've come to suck you dry!”Clint waggled his eyebrows at the man, “In more way that one <3”  
The blond man was no longer blond. He flaunted a dark wig slicked back with a white highlight. His fangs looked a little too real, and the pale cosmetics were only well done because of Natasha. I'm sure she had fun with that if she could even get the purple clad agent to sit still.  
Speaking of purple, the man was just that. He twirled around the apartment like a child with a violet cape flapping behind him.  
“I thought vampires were more...black...and mature.”  
“Oh, you're no fun. Look,” Clint pulled out a bag from seemingly nowhere, “ I got you one too. We can go to Tony's costume party as a couple of the night.” He then thrusted his cape in front of his face peering over the top of it. “I'm sure Steve’ll be freaked. This'll be fun.”  
Bruce sighed, “Don't torture the poor guy. I'll go, but no pranks. got it?”  
Clint pouted, “But babes.”  
“No,” the usually timid scientist put his foot down, “we don't want an incident like last year.”  
Clint shivered at that, “Fair enough, but what's my treat if I don't trick?” That mischievous grin of his returned.  
Bruce couldn't help but crack a small grin, “You'll have to wait and see.”  
***  
The party was fun. It consisted of close friends, no one outside the Avengers and their loved ones. Everyone stood around chatting. There was music in the background and Thor was having a riot with his lady on the dance floor. Clint joined them for a few songs then went back to his hubba and ate some deviled eggs and grape eyes.  
It wasn't even an hour in when he arrived: Peter. No, Peter wasn't an issue. Clint liked to think of him as his nephew ever since Steve and Tony adopted the little guy. But now that kid was growing up. He was in college. He was dating. That sweet little innocent kid who would participate in shenanigans with the archer, the kid who was the only one who wouldn't mind watching their favorite movies together over and over and over, who didn't mind eating junk food with each other and pranking his dad's, was now an adult.  
It wasn't a problem that he was dating. That was fine with Clint. He actually looked forward to the days that Peter would go to him for advice or things you just don't feel comfortable talking with your parents about, and Clint being bisexual made him ready for any gender the boy decided he'd prefer if not both. Peter was gay, but this wasn't the issue. No. His boyfriend was.  
Wade fucking Wilson. The merc with a mouth...seriously? And the little puppy love intoxicated boy took him everywhere. Either that or his scar faced lover follows him like a puppy. Clint decided it was both.  
Now Clint wasn't one to judge. He knew well that a person could fall in love with anyone, and sometimes, it'd be someone you least expect or would want to. But still, wade fucking Wilson. Clint was sure that was his middle name he had heard and thought it so many times.  
And here they both were at the party. Peter had an adorable wolf onesie that actually looked pretty real. His head sticking out from under the face along with his messed up mop is what made it so damn cute. Wade, on the other hand, was wearing a little red riding hood outfit.  
“Petey wouldn't let me wear the skirt.” Wade mumbled as tony complimented their couples costume.  
“I'm glad he didn't. Anyway, Peter, you look scary.” He sounded amused as he tossed his son's hair.  
“Daaad, cut it out.”  
“Awe, but it's true.” Wade cooed. “I picked it out myself: though, I think you'd look good in the skirt too!”  
“Wade…”  
“I think he looks manly as hell.” Clint offered as he stepped into the conversation. So he lied? Sue him!  
“But just look at that face.” Wade pinched at his boyfriend's cheeks.  
“Damn it Wade, stop.” Peter shooed his touch away. “Ugh, I'm gonna go get some punch.”  
“Okay sweetums, be back soon <3” he gave the little wolf a peck on the head before he walked off. Peter seemed to visibly relax at his touch. He gave a weak sigh and an affectionate look as he strode across the room to the punch bowl. There, he joined with Bruce.  
“Are they giving you a hard time?” The vampire scientist asked.  
“Yeah. Did uncle Clint make you wear that?”  
He raised an eyebrow at his nephew, “Did Mr. Wilson make you wear that?”  
“Touché.”  
It was then that they began their little chat about the ones they loved. The complained, they doted, they praised, and made fun of their significant others. Now, Peter went to Clint for the serious things he couldn't talk to his parents about, but Bruce, Bruce was the same in a sense. Though, they talked about things that had to do with their significant other as if they were two gossipy housewives.  
“You know, just the other day Clint wanted to go to the beach. The beach in October. Who does that? He woke me up at three in the morning just aching to go.”  
“Well, did you?”  
“...Yes…”  
Peter laughed, “Uncle Bruce, you think you've got him whipped?”  
“I have my ways. I got back at him for waking me up though.”  
“Oh? Is it something I'd like to hear?”  
Bruce took a sip of his punch, “Nope.”  
Peter didn't press any further, “Yeah, well, Wade can be like that too. This one time, we were on a mission and it brought us to a cave. He just had to go down every passageway and retrace steps just to see if he missed, and I quote, ‘any treasure chests the main boss might've left behind or pots. Man, I love smashing pots.’”  
“Heh, I see.” Bruce chuckled, “And how long did that take?”  
Peter slumped over, “Three painstaking hours.”  
“So you humored him?”  
Peter rarely saw the mischievous side to his calm and quiet uncle, but sometimes the man could catch a glint of it in his eyes or a slight perk at his lips.  
“He had the map.” The wolf moaned.  
“And you couldn't take it from him.”  
“No,” Peter crossed his arms, “every time I tried he'd…” He stopped there face growing red. Just remembering made him blush with embarrassment at the tingle in his stomach.  
“Heh, heh, I see.”  
These types of conversations would ring on. Eventually Natasha bearing a Wonder Woman wig came to join the chatting wives. She also added to the gossip when she could, and took whatever info (especially if it lead to blackmail) about Clint she could; how he was doing and if he was treating Bruce well because if not she'd smack him around a bit for him.  
“It's the least I can do for you. I know how he gets sometimes. I know he wouldn't hurt you but he can say and do some things and he not even realize what he's doing.”  
Bruce nodded, “Thank you but I think can handle him.” I mean, he already had to handle a green guy twenty times his size, so why not add in a sexy blond who riles him up in more ways than one and has as many issues as any other superhero. “I have been too for years now.”  
Natasha smiled at that. Mostly because her best friend, Clint, had found himself such a sweet, down to earth guy who could both keep him in his place, emotionally and physically if needed, and who could give him the love she knew he deserves.  
“Oh, you wanna go Hawkbut?”  
“And time any place, cesspool!”  
“How bout right now you purple prostitute?”  
“If you're not too scared to, wannabe Wilson.”  
“Scared? Look whose talking, Sluteye.”  
“You are, Dickpool.”  
“Okaaaay.” Peter and Bruce pushed between the pair. “Wade, over here.” The furry bodied brunette tugged his little red to the snack table.  
“You too, Hawkbut.” Bruce murmured, pushing Clint in the opposite direction. When they were out of hearing range, Bruce asked, “What happened?”  
“He's a dick that's what happened.”  
“Clint.”  
“He's delusional. Can't even offer strong evidence.”  
“Clint.”  
The ranting vampire stopped and looked down at his mate. His fangs we crooked and his hair a bit tufted. He had gotten him a traditional vampire outfit, tux and all (and man did that look sexy on him) but with a green lined cape just to be funny. He, too was adorable, and He looked concerned.  
“He said the most horrible thing, Bruce.”  
“What was it.” The scientist fixed his boyfriends crooked wig.  
“He...he said…he said that Dumbledore was better than Gandalf!”  
Bruce gave him a piercing stare. It's was at that moment they heard a loud, “What?!” From across the room.  
Everyone looked over to see who said it. Peter grew red for a second time that night and waved it off.  
“Sorry, it's nothing.”  
Everyone seemed to shrug, and they all went back to their previous conversations.  
“That's all?” Bruce, as well as Peter, said to their boyfriend.  
“That's all? You know it means more than that.” Was the reply of both the aggressors.

“Wade, for one, Gandalf is better. And two, don't go getting into a physical fight with my uncle because of it.”  
“Clint…” Bruce sighed, “what happened to behaving?”  
“I am behaving. So I got into a little disagreement.”  
“Clint.”  
“We said no tricks.”

“You know I love you Petey, but seriously? Gandalf?”

“Bruce, this doesn't count...does it?”

“He abandons the party like every five minutes. Your wizard can't do that. It's not right.”

The other vampire sighed again, “No, I guess not.”  
Clint have a small fist pump.

“Dumbledore is only there like at the Beginning and the end. Sometimes for a few unimportant moment in the middle.”

“But no more fighting tonight. Got it?”  
“Got it!” The blond smiled.

“At least Gandalf helps them when they need it. You know how many times he's saved the hobbits, the dwarves, the humans? He brought Aragorn a freakin army for Pete Sake!”

“Come on then.” Bruce tugged at his sleeve. “Let's go see what Natasha's up to. You haven't talked to her yet huh?”  
“No. I haven't.”

Wade shook his head, “ I just don't see it.”  
“Wade...wh-why am I even talking about this with you? I should be scolding you for challenging uncle Clint to a fight.”  
“You think I'd hurt him? Look who doesn't have faith in their uncle.” There was a small bite to his words. Peter could tell that he hurt him a bit for him to say something like that.  
“You know that's not- Wade I…” He sighed, “I just don't want to ruin dads party. I don't want you or him to get carried away. I don't want to have to break my boyfriend and uncle apart. I don't want to watch the people I love fight like that.”  
Peter was true to his words. He meant them, but he couldn't help but feel like he was slightly playing his boyfriend just like he just tried to guilt trip him.  
“I know baby boy. I'm sorry.” not so little red riding hood wrapped his arms around his lover's waist. “I won't do it again, I promise.”  
Peter received the embrace with a slight chuckle and buried his face into that broad chest, “You won’t?”  
“Well...I'll try.”  
***  
Clint and Bruce made it back home actually at a somewhat decent time.  
“Ten thirty. Wow.”  
“I have work I want to do tomorrow.” The smaller removed his cape, resting it on the chair. It was then that he was enveloped with another. This one was purple and attached to a warm and sturdy mass. Bruce let himself escape into the scent of the cloth as the arms holding it wrapped gently around his chest.  
“Today, I went without my tricks.” Clint's voice was low and husky, “now…what's my treat?”  
Bruce shook with pleasure under the light breath ghosting over his neck and ear.  
“I'm waiting, or will this vampire have to suck you dry to get you to talk?”  
The scientist gulped, “I'm...ahem...I'm sure that would have a reverse effect.”  
“Oh?” Clint traced circles in the shorter man's chest, “and how would you know that.”  
“Um...well...experience, I guess.”  
“You guess?”  
Bruce nodded, “Though, about your treat…It seems we ran out of candy yesterday, so…” he shifted in his arms, turning to face the still fanged fighter, “you're going to have to settle for me instead.”  
Clint's smirk was as devious as Dracula's, “Settle? My dear souffle, you are the main course!”  
“Ah, but I thought you wanted a treat?”  
“Meal, then desert.” He lightly pressed his lips to Bruce's. “I'm sure you could provide both for me.”  
Bruce swayed back a few centimeters before the kiss could fully take him, “That wasn't the deal.”  
Clint's face dropped. Bruce, on the other hand, let out a full blown grin spiced up with his own devious flair, “But I sure as hell can.”

**Author's Note:**

> If the dialogue gets a bit confusing comment and i'll fix it. It's supposed to go from Clint and Bruce’s conversation to Peter and Wade’s constantly because they are happening at the same time just across the room. I tried spacing them when they switched, but if it still isn't clear as to who is speaking, i'll put the names in. Just please let me know. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
